At 54, Stephanie Essary is fulfilling a lifelong dream of becoming an author with her debut novel, The Language of Dreams: a story of resilience, courage, and healing. As a wife, mother of five, and grandmother of three, Stephanie spent decades putting her dreams on hold, quietly writing stories she didn’t have the confidence to share. Now, she is reclaiming her voice and pursuing a goal of publishing 42 stories in six years. Through her journey, she is passionate about encouraging other midlife women to embark on their dreams and reclaim their power, purpose, and vision. You can learn more about Stephanie at https://www.stephanieessary.com/ or connect with her on Instagram at @stephessary.
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As we begin, please share your origin story with us.
Stephanie Essary: I grew up grappling with CPTSD, Anxiety Disorder, and Depression, all stemming from a childhood shaped by an absent father, a distant mother, and an abusive stepfather. Storytelling became my solace—a way to create order and beauty amid the chaos. Writing offered me a refuge, a space where I could process emotions too heavy to speak out loud. Over the years, I quietly nurtured this passion, filling notebooks with stories while raising my family. For decades, my writing was deeply personal—a secret garden I tended to in quiet moments, providing me with peace and purpose.
It wasn’t until I moved to San Diego in 2023, inspired by the beauty of the coast and driven by a profound desire to honor my younger self, that I decided it was time to share my work with the world. In doing so, I also embraced the opportunity to heal and connect with others who may have walked similar paths.
What inspired you to start pursuing your dream of becomin g an author at 54? Tell us about the fears and challenges you’ve faced on this journey and how you overcame them to begin pursuing this passion in midlife.
Stephanie Essary: There was a moment of reckoning when I realized that if I didn’t pursue my dream now, I might never do it. Around the same time, I was diagnosed with multiple autoimmune diseases, and it became clear that much of my trauma had manifested itself in my body. It was a wake-up call that put everything into perspective. I understood that healing physically would also require working through the emotional wounds and fears that had been holding me back for so long.
Starting at 54 wasn’t easy. I wrestled with deep-seated fears—what if I wasn’t good enough? What if I had waited too long and missed my chance? The idea of stepping into a world filled with talented voices, many younger and already established, was daunting. Imposter syndrome whispered constantly, telling me my work wouldn’t measure up or that my voice might get lost in a sea of others. I also grappled with the fear of judgment—from others and myself—and the haunting question of whether it was simply “too late.”
What helped me push through was recognizing the value of the journey itself. These stories weren’t just creative works; they were pieces of me, shaped by resilience and hard-earned lessons. I reframed my fears as evidence of how much this dream meant to me, using them as fuel to move forward instead of letting them paralyze me. I surrounded myself with supportive people who reminded me that it’s never too late to start, and I gave myself permission to begin imperfectly. Each small step forward became proof that I was capable of pursuing this dream.
What I’ve learned is that show
How has your perspective on storytelling evolved since you first began writing at age 12?
Stephanie Essary: At 12, storytelling was my escape—a way to build worlds where I felt safe. Living through a chaotic and traumatic childhood, many of the stories I wrote came from a place of pain. My writing reflected the struggles I was experiencing, often lacking hope or resolution, as I hadn’t yet found those things in my own life. Writing was a mirror to my inner world, a way to process the chaos around me and give shape to emotions I couldn’t fully understand at the time.
As I’ve grown and experienced not only hardship but also profound moments of beauty, love, and connection, my perspective on storytelling has shifted. While my stories still explore depth and pain, they now carry a sense of hope , a testament to the beauty that can exist even within the hardest experiences. I’ve learned that pain and joy are not mutually exclusive; they often coexist, and it’s in that duality that some of the most meaningful stories are found.
Storytelling has become a way to connect with others, to explore the shared humanity in our struggles and triumphs. I’ve learned to embrace vulnerability in my writing, understanding that authenticity resonates deeply with readers. My stories are no longer just for me; they’re for the people who might see themselves in them, who might find solace, understanding, or inspiration. Through my writing, I hope to show that even in life’s darkest moments, there’s a possibility for light and transformation.
What advice would you give to someone who feels it’s “too late” to chase their dreams?
Stephanie Essary: It’s never too late. In fact, midlife is a powerful time to start because you bring a perspective that younger versions of yourself didn’t have. Life experiences—both the joyful and the painful—shape your unique voice and the stories you have to share. But before you can answer the question of how to chase your dreams, you must first ask yourself why. Why does this dream matter to you? Why do you feel called to pursue it now? Understanding your why will serve as your anchor, your source of motivation, and the guiding force that carries you through the challenges of starting something new.
Once you have your Why, begin small. Take imperfect action, understanding that progress, not perfection, is the goal. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and will support your journey. Most importantly, trust that your voice matters. Remember, the world needs what only you can offer—your perspective, your experiences, your passion—no matter your age or where you’re starting from. Embracing your why makes all the difference in turning hesitation into momentum.

How do you approach balanci ng heavy themes like trauma and resilience with hope and inspiration in your work?
Stephanie Essary: Life is complex, it’s never just pain or joy, but often a blend of both. For years, I felt like I couldn’t share my story because it, and I, were too much of a mess to make sense of. I believed my past was too chaotic, too broken, to have value. But the truth is, giving myself permission to feel everything—to sit with the messy, imperfect parts of my journey—was the turning point. I came to accept that my trauma and challenges are part of who I am. My story may never be perfect, and that’s okay. That’s what makes it real.
People don’t connect with perfection; they connect with authenticity. I’ve realized that they want to see stories that reflect their own complexity, stories that acknowledge the pain and struggle but also show the beauty and happiness that can grow from those experiences. Often, the most beautiful stories are the ones that have traversed a myriad of emotions and experiences, weaving joy and sorrow together into something deeply resonant.
I want to honor that complexity by writing about trauma with honesty while ensuring my stories are rooted in hope and healing. I want my readers to feel seen in their struggles and to believe that growth and beauty can emerge from even the darkest moments. Life’s most profound beauty often lies in the contrast, in the way light can still break through the cracks.
Working on 42 stories in si x years is an incredible endea vor. What fuels you to stay organized and motivated?
Stephanie Essary: I know how big the challenge is, and I understand it may seem too big to tackle—working on 42 stories in six years is no small feat. What fuels me is my passion for storytelling and my belief in the importance of these stories. I also recognize that I don’t need to reinvent the wheel; I’m focusing on material that has existed in one form or another for many years. They may need editing, expanding, or completing, but the foundations are there, waiting to be brought to life.
By the time I complete this goal, I’ll be 60 years old—a milestone that some of the most important people in my life never reached, leaving behind unfinished stories and dreams of their own. This work is my way of honoring them, carrying forward what they couldn’t, and ensuring their legacies live on through mine. It’s also deeply personal—a testament to the power of perseverance and the belief that it’s never too late to create something meaningful.
My greatest motivation is my grandchildren. I want to leave them a legacy of resilience and creativity, showing them that even in the face of challenges, it’s possible to craft something beautiful and lasting. Every word I write feels like a step toward that goal, a contribution to something much larger than myself. This journey is about proving that life’s most powerful stories can still be written, no matter where or when you begin.
The writing process is powerful for confronting trauma and self-doubt. How has it helped your processing?
Stephanie Essary: Writing has been both a mirror and a balm, reflecting truths I might otherwise avoid and offering a safe space to process them. It allows me to put words to pain, giving it shape and making it less overwhelming. Through writing, I’ve uncovered the power of storytelling not just to confront trauma and self-doubt but to transform them. Whether I’m creating stories about healing or crafting whimsical tales for children, each story becomes a piece of my own journey toward wholeness.
This process has taught me to find joy in small, unassuming moments and to embrace healing in the journeys of my characters. As I explore their resilience, I often find myself extending the same grace to my own imperfections. Writing has shown me that neither life nor I have to be perfect to be beautiful. The act of storytelling reminds me that healing isn’t about erasing the scars but learning to see the beauty they carry and the strength they represent. Through my stories, I’ve discovered not just a path forward but a deep sense of gratitude for the journey itself.
What inspiration and permis sion do you aspire to provide women in mid-life?
Stephanie Essary: I want women in mid-life to know that their dreams are valid and worth pursuing, no matter how long they’ve been dormant. I hope to inspire them to step into their power, embrace their unique stories, and rewrite narratives that no longer serve them. It’s never too late to redefine yourself, and every step you take toward your goals is a victory.
I also want them to give themselves the space and opportunity to grieve—whether it’s the idea of who they thought they were or the things they didn’t get to do. That grief is valid and necessary to move forward. But after allowing themselves that grace, I hope they feel empowered to choose the things they still hope to accomplish, knowing there is no time limit on dreams. Society or others may try to convince us otherwise, but it’s okay to not be exactly where you want to be. It’s okay to still want more, and it’s more than okay to work toward achieving it—whatever that may be. Every small step forward is a triumph, and the journey itself is as meaningful as the destination.
Where can our viewership go to support you and your works ?
Stephanie Essary: I’d love for your readers to visit my author website, www.stephanieessary.com, where they can explore my work, including The Language of Dreams, my debut novel that weaves together the mysteries of past and present to reveal how dreams can uncover hidden truths, heal wounds, and transform lives in unexpected ways. They can also learn about From Good Bones, a story in progress that delves into family and the crucial role it plays in shaping who we are, and my children’s book series, Lila and Paw Paw’s Grand Adventures, which follows virtual escapades with my grandchildren as we stay connected across the miles.
The website also features my podcast, Unfinished Stories: Next Chapter, which chronicles my journey to publish 42 stories in six years. Through the podcast, I share conversations with others who are revisiting their own aspirations and invite professionals to offer valuable insights and strategies for achieving our goals. Whether through my website, social media, or podcast, readers can join me on this journey and become part of a community dedicated to growth, creativity, and meaningful accomplishments.
Brooke Young, VIP Contributor to WellnessVoice and the host of this interview would like to thank Cindy Witteman for taking the time to do this interview and share her knowledge and experience with our readers.
Disclaimer: The WellnessVoice Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.