Not only does prolonging your kiss to 10 seconds take a degree of mindfulness and intentionality, which are both great things to have in a relationship, but Reed notes that it’s also about actively choosing to admire your partner, choosing to create moments of intimacy together, and choosing to see them as your lover.
“A lot of people have a hard time with that word, ‘lover,’ and the thing is we end up being business partners, or roommates, or best friends,” she explains, adding that all too often, people forget they can be vulnerable throughout the day, not just on date night or when they’re having sex. “It’s taking that moment to really admire the person and connect, and then you get that big burst of chemicals,” she says.
And the 10-second kiss is especially helpful when greeting each other after time apart, she notes, as it helps to bring you both to the same “level,” emotionally, also known as “attunement.”
“It sort of breaks the tension of coming back together at the end of the day to kiss for 10 seconds. Now you’re in that zone together, you’ve left work behind, and you’re in this zone of being in the relationship,” Reed explains.
