Erin Carroll-Manning is a Master Newborn Care Specialist, Postpartum Doula, educator, and the founder of Gentle Giraffes Newborn Care & Family Services. She has more than three decades of experience supporting children and families and helping parents better understand their newborns. Since launching Gentle Giraffes in 2017, Erin has become a trusted voice in newborn care, postpartum support, sleep guidance, and parent education. Her work has been featured in Parents Magazine, Care.com, Consumer Reports, The Boston Globe, and several other respected publications. She was also nominated for the International Nanny Association’s Nanny of the Year Award and finished as a Top 5 finalist in 2023. Through her work, Erin has consistently encouraged families to view babies as active communicators from the very beginning of life.
In this interview, Erin shares her thoughts on newborn behavior, emotional regulation, responsive caregiving, and the importance of listening to what babies are trying to communicate. She discusses the philosophy behind Gentle Giraffes, the value of supporting both parents and infants, and the changes she hopes to see in the future of newborn and postpartum care.
Erin, your journey began long before Gentle Giraffes was established. Can you take us back to the earliest experience or observation that shaped your understanding of infants as “competent communicators?”
Erin Carroll-Manning: I can’t remember the exact moment it all clicked for me. It wasn’t one specific experience or training. It happened gradually over the years of working closely with babies, toddlers, and families in their private homes.
I began noticing how differently children responded depending on how the adults around them interacted with them, even in different environments. Some babies would relax almost instantly when their needs were understood and met. Others would remain inconsolable unless they were held in a very specific way. Some seemed content for a while, only to later show the same signs of discomfort or distress if the underlying need hadn’t truly been addressed.
The more I observed, the more curious I became. Instead of simply reacting to behaviors, I started asking myself why they were happening. I would troubleshoot different approaches, paying close attention to what changed when I did one thing versus another. I spent countless hours watching, listening, and interacting with children. Even before it was recommended and they were too young to speak, I always talked to them as if they could understand me, because in many ways, they can. Children are competent humans.
Over time, I began to see patterns emerge. Drawing on my hands-on experience, professional training, ongoing education, and intuition, I came to a powerful realization: every child is communicating. They may not use words, but they are constantly telling us something through their body language, behaviors, facial expressions, cries, movements, and responses to the world around them. As a society, we are always trying to figure out what babies might be thinking when they make funny faces or expressions that suggest they find something absurd, etc. They may be tiny, but they understand and have an opinion from day one.
When we, as adults, learn how to slow down, observe, and respond to that communication, something remarkable happens. We begin building trust. We create a sense of safety. We help children feel seen, understood, and supported. That trust becomes the foundation for secure attachment, emotional regulation, confidence, and healthy development.
At its core, my work has never been about getting babies or toddlers to comply. It’s about understanding what they’re trying to tell us and helping families learn how to listen and be respectful of the children’s specific needs. Because when we respond to children based on what they are communicating, not just how they are behaving (their behavior is communication), we strengthen our connection with them and help them thrive.
Much of conventional newborn care focuses on measurable indicators such as weight gain, feeding schedules, and sleep duration. On the contrary, your approach emphasizes interpreting behavioral and physiological cues instead. Exactly what mindset shifts do you believe are necessary in how society defines “healthy” newborn development?
Erin Carroll-Manning: I believe we need to establish evidence-based, measurable indicators as our baseline, but that’s just the starting point. From there, we must look much deeper to truly understand what a baby is communicating. Of course, if a baby isn’t gaining weight, that naturally becomes our priority. I always ensure there are no underlying medical concerns first, sometimes using weighted feeds to give us clear, helpful data to determine our next steps.
Having that clarity can be so reassuring for a mother who feels stressed by pediatric recommendations or worries about whether her baby is getting enough. I am a firm believer that every mother needs to feel heard, seen, and supported. When a mother is anxious, it can be hard for her to fully engage, and my work often involves gently holding that emotional space, even when it isn’t explicitly spoken about. Having done this work for years, it has strengthened my intuition; I can often sense how a baby’s environment and a parent’s unspoken fears can influence them. As we know, research shows that most mothers won’t seek help for themselves until they are confident their baby is doing well. We must always listen to the mother and support her in reducing her fears and anxiety to allow the mother-child bond to grow.
Once a mother feels that reassurance, we can dive deeper together to explore the root causes of the baby’s behaviors and needs. Most of my work happens in that beautiful ‘gray area’ between textbooks and medical intervention. We attract clients who are aware that there is still more to accomplish, and it’s encouraging to see society moving toward listening to their bodies and exploring more deeply. I may have been one of the pioneers in this newborn space, but it’s wonderful to see the collective consciousness changing.
In real-life home settings, what are some of the most commonly misunderstood signals parents miss? How do you train families to reframe their interpretation of crying, feeding behavior, or sleep patterns as part of a broader communication system?
Erin Carroll-Manning: One of the most significant shifts we cultivate with families is moving away from the common misconception that a crying baby always signals hunger. In reality, babies express a rich, nuanced spectrum of needs through their cries, and decoding these unique cues is a journey of patience and observation. I encourage parents to look beyond the immediate distress to understand what their newborn is truly communicating.
This perspective naturally leads to the most vital lesson I share: the power of a slow, steady, and consistent approach. In our fast-paced culture, it’s all too common to move through various tactics the moment a baby doesn’t calm instantly. However, newborns thrive on predictability and calm. Think of your approach as caring for a turtle: they move through the race in a steady, gentle manner rather than rapid, constant changes. When we introduce a new soothing technique or schedule adjustment, it needs time to be processed and integrated. By committing to an approach for a little longer, parents create a secure, predictable environment where they can learn their baby’s unique language.
I often remind clients that development is a process, much like education. We can’t expect anyone to leap from elementary school to college in one day. I like the focus to stay on consistent habits; if there’s a setback, they simply reset and continue the next day. I remind our clients that progress over perfection is the goal. This is why I created our signature 14-week package. This allows us to move at the newborn’s pace while implementing healthy, sustainable habits that build a solid foundation rooted in respect, gentle, responsive child-rearing, and a secure attachment, and supporting families through the peaks and valleys of the first 12-16 weeks of this little being earthside.
Recent discussions in parenting research highlight how caregiver emotional regulation strongly influences infant development and bonding. In your experience, how does a parent’s emotional state directly affect newborn behavior, and what practical strategies do you use to help families develop more responsive interactions during the postpartum phase?
Erin Carroll-Manning: The emotional well-being of the birthing parent profoundly shapes a child’s development, beginning even before birth. Emerging research suggests that our emotional states can influence our reproductive health, reminding us just how deeply interconnected we are. During pregnancy, a baby is attuned to the birthing parent’s nervous system, absorbing how they navigate stress and daily life. This forms the baby’s first emotional environment and marks the beginning of the beautiful process of co-regulation.
As the baby enters the world, this dynamic continues, with parents serving as the primary external regulators for their newborn’s nervous system. When a parent feels anxious or uncertain, those feelings can unintentionally transfer while trying to soothe their little one. We help families recognize that children are like little sponges, absorbing our energy; they learn what ‘safe’ feels like through our own calm, steady presence. By fostering our own emotional regulation, we create a secure, nurturing space that allows our babies to truly thrive.
To help parents stay centered, we often discuss the importance of taking a ‘breather,’ setting the baby down in a safe space, and taking a moment to breathe before re-engaging. I also encourage parents to view their own emotional healing as a gift to their family. Whether starting before conception or as soon as possible, doing this inner work is invaluable. I help parents realize that time is their greatest friend; while it takes effort upfront, this mental preparation builds a healthier foundation for the long haul. Remember, these are meaningful stepping stones. As your child grows, you will continue to build on these co-regulation habits, growing stronger together and guiding them toward healthy, sustainable ones. Ultimately, our children often show us where we need to do our own inner work. I invite parents to view these moments as opportunities: when you feel triggered, take a step back and reflect on what those feelings are telling you about your own journey.
Lastly, we always need to celebrate the parents’ wins, no matter how small. Small, steady steps get us to the big, long-term sustainable outcomes and to hitting our goals.
Gentle Giraffes integrates newborn care specialists, postpartum doulas, sleep guidance, and travel support into one coordinated system. What gaps in the traditional postpartum care industry inspired this integrated model? Also, how do you ensure evidence-based practice across such a diverse team with decades of combined experience?
Erin Carroll-Manning: I feel strongly that our industry must return to the heart of the home by prioritizing daytime postpartum doula (PPD) support. These professionals are uniquely equipped to “mother the mother,” nurturing the well-being of the mother. With their specialized training in perinatal mood disorders, lactation, and physical recovery, they provide a layer of maternal care that often extends beyond the scope of a newborn care specialist (NCS).
It is far too easy for a mother to mask her true emotional state when her only professional interaction is a brief hand-off at the start or end of an overnight shift. As the family moves toward bottle feeding, the night caregiver may rarely even see the mother awake, leaving her internal world largely unobserved.
Daytime presence is not just a convenience; it is a critical safeguard for the health of the entire family. Having a qualified expert in the home during the day allows for a genuine assessment of the emotional landscape, ensuring the birthing parent feels heard and seen when they are most vulnerable. Ultimately, the spirit of the home reflects the parents’ mental and emotional well-being during this delicate postpartum window.
Conversely, I believe newborn care specialists are the masters of the overnight realm. Their expertise is laser-focused on the infant: decoding behavioral cues, mastering soothing techniques, and establishing healthy foundations for feeding and sleep. By supporting the baby through the night, they empower families to understand their child’s unique language while facilitating the restorative rest everyone needs.
We must remember that babies are tiny sponges, incredibly attuned to the energy in the room. If a mother is carrying unspoken anxiety, the baby can sense that tension, which often disrupts their ability to settle into the deep, nourishing sleep required for their development.
The ideal environment is one where these two roles work in harmony. When a PPD and an NCS collaborate, the family is enveloped in a complete circle of care, emotional support for the parents, and specialized expertise for the newborn. This team approach effectively rebuilds the “village” within the home, providing a steady, guided transition during one of life’s most transformative periods.
Throughout my career, I’ve seen the distinct outcomes of these different training paths. I’m often called into homes where only a doula was present. While the parents felt emotionally held, they were often left without a sustainable roadmap for newborn development or healthy routines as the baby grew older.
Because of this, we frequently begin our work after certain habits have already taken root. In these cases, we pivot to troubleshooting and restructuring, helping families implement realistic, respectful habits that honor both the baby’s needs and the family’s modern lifestyle.
I personally vet every professional on my team to ensure they embody our standards of excellence and deep respect for the newborn and that they understand we need to follow evidence-based practices as our baseline. I look for seasoned experts who bring years of hands-on, private-home experience and a genuine passion for ongoing professional growth through mentorship and advanced education.
While training matters, it cannot replace the intuition and judgment gained through real-world experience. I rarely partner with someone fresh out of a single training program; the families we serve deserve the confidence and adaptability that only come from years of supporting parents through the peaks and valleys of early parenthood and understanding how to support them daily in their private home.
As Gentle Giraffes expands its reach, how do you envision it evolving newborn care, especially as more families seek individualized, non-restrictive, and emotionally responsive care models?
Erin Carroll-Manning: Our approach is more or less a responsive care approach from day one. That is what we are doing when we stop, take a step back, and learn from the baby. We are learning how to respond to them. This supports families emotionally by using a responsive care model. To expand, we will continue to do what we have always done. No matter what, we need a balance of healthy, sustainable routines that fit into modern life, as well as loosening the strict schedules that so many sleep training programs impose on families. We can show the baby that we understand them and we are doing what they need.
Conclusion
Erin Carroll-Manning emphasizes that babies are constantly communicating, and families thrive when they learn how to listen. Her approach focuses on understanding each child’s individual needs while creating an environment where parents feel supported, informed, and confident. Responsive care, emotional awareness, and steady guidance during the early months of a child’s life are crucial. By encouraging parents to slow down, observe, and respond thoughtfully, Erin is helping families build strong foundations during one of the most important stages of life.
