Dr. Maria Grace Wolk is a Filipina-American Psychotherapist, TEDx Speaker, and Author known for her trauma-informed, heart-centered approach to emotional wellness. She is the creator of the G.R.A.C.E. Matrix®—a research-backed method that blends neuroscience, mindfulness, and storytelling to help people regulate their emotions and realign with purpose.
Her debut children’s book, Hello Flutters, was inspired by a tender moment with her son—and her own experience growing up with anxiety. Through this story, she helps children understand the sensations of fear in their bodies and respond with courage and compassion. Her next book, Say Hello to Fear, expands this message for adults.
As an EMDR-certified clinician and respected voice in the mental health space, Dr. Maria Grace offers therapy, workshops, and keynotes that turn emotional complexity into practical healing. She empowers people to not just cope, but to truly heal—starting from within and expanding into their relationships, work, and everyday lives.
What does mental fitness mean, and how is it different from mental health?
Dr. Maria Grace Wolk: Think of a garden–the condition of the garden is mental health. Is the soil healthy? Are the plants getting sunlight? Are there weeds taking over? Are things blooming—or barely surviving?
Mental fitness is the gardener– it’s what you do everyday–watering, pulling weeds, pruning, planting new seeds.
Someone might have a beautiful thriving garden (a good mental health), but if they stop tending to it, weeds grow fast. On the other hand, even if the garden’s in a rough shape, a dedicated gardener with the right tools and care (mental fitness) can bring it back to life. Mental health is the state of your inner world. Mental fitness is how you care for it—through practice, discipline, and the daily choices that keep you grounded, resilient, and growing. In my practice, I often sit across from someone like “Jane”—a mom of two, working full-time as a hospital admin. Her mornings are a blur of getting the kids ready, answering emails, and pushing through the weight of bills and expectations. The stress is constant, the self-doubt creeping in.
One morning, she snaps at her daughter over something small, and immediately feels that familiar wave of guilt and shame. That’s a signal—her mental health is struggling at that moment. She’s overwhelmed, emotionally depleted, and her stress response is running the show. Instead of staying in that spiral, Jane does something we’ve been practicing. She pauses. She grounds herself by taking a few slow breaths. She reflects by naming what she’s feeling: “I’m overwhelmed. I’m tired. And I’m doing the best I can.” She doesn’t judge herself—she meets herself with compassion. Later, she takes a short walk to reset. She listens to a podcast that reminds her she’s not alone.
That’s mental fitness.
Being a therapist, working with individuals to navigate stress, self-doubt and emotional overload, has shown me something essential: the difference between mental health and mental fitness. That distinction has shaped not only how I support others, but also how I care for myself. It’s not just professional. It’s deeply personal. And it’s the reason I do this work.
Why is maintaining mental fitness more challenging in today’s high-speed, constantly connected society?
Dr. Maria Grace Wolk: Maintaining mental fitness in today’s high speed, constantly connected society is challenging because we are all too busy trying to keep up with everything and everyone in fear that if we fall behind, we may fail.
Let’s take a step back a moment and look at the bigger picture of our society, our world. “Keep up. Do more. Stay connected.” That is the constant message in our world today. And if we’re not careful, we start believing that taking some time to rest means we’re falling behind. That pressure—that constant push—can quietly erode our well-being, leaving us anxious, exhausted, and unsure how to truly unplug. It’s no wonder so many are burning out while trying to prove they’re still in the race.
A common sign that someone’s mental fitness might be declining?
Dr. Maria Grace Wolk: One common sign that someone’s mental fitness is declining is feeling overwhelmed. I like Brene Brown’s explanation of overwhelm:
“When we tell ourselves we’re overwhelmed, it’s really telling our body; things are happening too fast, we can’t handle them-Shut Down! Shut Down!”
When we feel truly overwhelmed, we are not functioning.
This means, we may react by snapping at our children or coworkers or even criticizing ourselves harshly, leading to even more stress and guilt.
How can mindfulness, exercise, or sleep contribute to better metal resilience?
Dr. Maria Grace Wolk: I like to think of mindfulness, movement, and sleep as the three anchors for emotional strength. Mindfulness practice teaches us how to stay present without judgment. And that’s huge, especially when you’re overwhelmed or triggered. When we practice mindfulness regularly, it changes the brain—specifically the areas responsible for regulating our emotions.
Then there’s exercise. When we move our bodies, we’re not just getting fit—we’re shifting our chemistry. Exercise boosts those feel-good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which help stabilize our mood. It also helps rewire the brain to be more adaptive.
And sleep. I tell my clients all the time: sleep is not optional if you want emotional balance. When we’re sleep-deprived, our emotional brain goes into overdrive. We see it in children, they are cranky when they need to take a nap or don’t sleep well— of course, adults are just the same. There’s research that shows sleep loss increases activity in the amygdala by over 60%, which makes us more reactive and less able to regulate. But when we sleep well, the brain actually processes emotions, stores memories, and resets our stress response.
So when people say they’re feeling off or burnt out, I always go back to these basics. Are you sleeping? Are you moving? Are you taking time to be still? It’s not always a fancy solution. Often, it’s these quiet, consistent practices that build the strongest foundation.
In what ways can employers and schools promote mental fitness?
Dr. Maria Grace Wolk: I love this question because it falls right into my mission to normalize mental health. Mental fitness is an individual responsibility as well as a shared responsibility because it is shaped by the environment we’re in every day. Both employers and schools play a role.
The first thing I always say is: we need to normalize mental health conversations. Whether it’s through wellness workshops, check-in circles, or having leaders openly model healthy mental health practices. When people feel psychologically safe, they’re more likely to speak up before they burn out.
In schools, this means weaving emotional literacy into the everyday curriculum. Children should be taught how to name their feelings, recognize where those emotions show up in their bodies, and use simple tools to regulate them. That’s exactly why I wrote Hello Flutters!—to give kids a fun, accessible way to understand their emotions and build self-regulation skills early in life.
In the workplace, employers can offer ongoing resources: access to therapy or coaching, flexible scheduling, and spaces to actually pause. Studies show that mindfulness at work improves focus, emotional regulation, and even team dynamics.
But one of the most important things we all need is connection. From the time we’re babies, our brains and nervous systems learn to feel calm and safe through caring relationships. We are wired to connect and have the need to belong. That doesn’t change as we get older. When a teacher, a manager, or a coworker shows up with kindness and presence, it can help us feel more grounded. Sometimes, just feeling seen is enough to help us feel better and more hopeful. At the end of the day, we can’t just tell people to “be resilient” and not change the culture they’re in. The system has to become part of the healing.
How does technology both support and hinder mental fitness?
Dr. Maria Grace Wolk: Technology is one of those things that can be both a lifeline and a landmine when it comes to mental fitness.
On the supportive side—when used intentionally—it can be a powerful resource. We now have access to meditation apps, therapy platforms, breathwork videos, online support groups… all just a tap away. For people who feel isolated or overwhelmed, that kind of access can be life-changing. Even social media, when used wisely, can help people feel less alone and more connected. It’s helped normalize mental health conversations in ways we hadn’t seen before.
But we must remember that tech isn’t neutral. The way it’s designed often pulls us toward overuse. Doomscrolling can be a real problem. We keep scrolling through distressing news and content, thinking it’ll help us stay informed, but it often leaves us feeling helpless and dysregulated. Gabor Maté speaks about how deeply interconnected we are as humans. Even witnessing suffering—especially through a screen—can trigger unresolved trauma or fear in us.
Our nervous system can’t always tell the difference between a real threat and a digital one. There’s also the social comparison trap. When we’re constantly consuming other people’s highlight reels, it becomes harder to stay grounded in our own worth. Research has shown that high screen time—especially on social media is associated with increased rates of anxiety, depression, and lower self-esteem in adolescents.
So I always tell people—it’s not about quitting technology. It’s about creating a mindful relationship with it. Ask yourself: Is this helping me feel more connected, grounded, creative—or more anxious, distracted, and drained? Our devices don’t define our well-being– we do.
The key is not disconnection, but connection.
What role does social connection play in maintaining mental sharpness and emotional balance?
Dr. Maria Grace Wolk: As I mentioned in the previous question, we’re wired for connection. From early childhood, our nervous systems begin to learn regulation through warm, attuned relationships—those moments of connection shape our emotional development well into adulthood.
Even as adults, we stay emotionally balanced when we feel safe and seen. Connection helps calm our nervous system, lowers stress hormones, and actually improves focus and decision-making.
It creates the conditions for clarity.
And for brain health—it’s just as powerful. People with strong social ties tend to have better memory and a lower risk of cognitive decline as they age.8 So staying connected isn’t just good for the heart—it’s good for the brain too.
So here’s a simple practice you can try: once a week, do a connection check-in. Reach out to someone you trust—send a quick voice note, share a memory, or simply ask how they’re really doing. It doesn’t require a big circle. Even one or two deep, safe relationships can make a world of difference.
Why should mental fitness be treated with the same importance as physical fitness?
Dr. Maria Grace Wolk: This is what I’m passionate about—reminding people that mental fitness deserves the same care, consistency, and respect as physical fitness. Because I’ve experienced what happens when we ignore it.
I’m standing in my kitchen, washing dishes, and I can hear the dryer buzzing which means I have to put in the third load.
My eyes are halfway open, and I can’t remember the last time I got to sleep more than two hours.
I’m doing my best to function. I can see the piles of paperwork on the kitchen table that needed to be completed days ago. Then I hear my baby crying in the next room, and in that moment, everything feels so loud, everything feels like it’s not going the way it should be, and I feel like
I’m failing.
I go into the hallway closet, I shut the door, I sit on the ground and tears just start pouring out of me. My stress just keeps piling on leading me to overwhelm and exhaustion.
As a woman, as a mom, we take care of everyone and everything before we take care of ourselves. We pour out our energy, attention, love and even money. At the end of the day we’re often empty.
When we are overwhelmed, our bodies and minds struggle to handle the perceived demands, often resulting in stress.
We live in a world where we’re taught to push through, stay busy, and “be strong.” But real strength? It’s being able to sit with your feelings without drowning in them. It’s having the tools to pause, to reflect, to respond—not just react. That’s mental fitness.
Just like how we build physical muscles at the gym, we build mental and emotional strength through practice—through mindfulness, self-awareness, healthy boundaries, rest, and compassion.
And just like physical health declines when we stop moving, mental health suffers when we stop tending to our inner world. We become reactive. Burned out.
Disconnected.
To me, mental fitness is prevention. It’s resilience. It’s leadership.
It’s how we raise healthier kids, build stronger relationships, and create workplaces and schools where people can actually thrive.
So yes—I’m here to normalize it. To teach it. To advocate for it in every room I step into.
Because when we care for the mind like we care for the body, everything changes.
Want a simple way to start? Try scheduling three 5-minute mental fitness breaks into your day—every day this week. Not when you “find time,” but as a real appointment with yourself.
Add it to your calendar or set a gentle reminder on your phone.
Then choose one small, grounding practice for each break:
- Walk around the block without your phone
- Sit still and take ten slow, intentional breaths
- Do a quick body scan and ask: What am I feeling? What do I need?
- Listen to a calming song with your hand on your heart
- Step outside and name five things you can see or hear
These moments may seem small, but they matter.
Each one is a reminder that showing up for your inner world is an act of self-love.
